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The Last Dog and Pony Show (1998)
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NEW #1
You, yeah, you always haul my ball and chain right
To there, the place where I get lost inside of
You, yeah, I see your face and hear your voice right
Through that which seems so hopeless and confusing
Sometimes I try too hard to separate the
Good times from sadness that we've had together
Balancing, I need to keep it all in some perspective
Calm me down, I need you more than you will ever comprehend
I don't want this to end / I can't lose one more friend
I go through my regrets and I return the compliments and
Hope I find that innocence, I've got to be here no matter what
happens
Slow down, you say that time will tell the story, it
Goes around, but no one else could know what's here
Between us, I sense this tension that I know so
Well, but the calm I feel is being with you, near you constantly
I can't wash this away / it's here to stay
I need to cleanse my soul, these thoughts will make me lose control
So if I lose control, don't leave me, you've got to be here, no
matter what happens
Trust me, I'm here for you with good intentions
Trust in me, despite some times when I don't trust
Myself, in myself, in my head, in my own confusion
My confusion gets the best of me, my illusions set me free
Free to dream about what I really need to set me
Free, is it you, is it me, what can I do to set you
Free, to be real, to be with me when I need you
Are you listening, are you listening to me
Forgive me when I lose control (sometimes I forget myself)
Forgive me for the thoughts I have (sometimes I think just like
you)
Maybe I can't trust myself (I know that I can trust in you)
But I can't keep it to myself (I feel just like you)
MOVING TRUCKS
Tell me that you're feeling trapped in this life, thinking of
moving away
You say that it's all for the best, we'll both be better off that
way
My jaw hits the floor as the words sink in
I didn't know you felt so strongly
Makes me wonder what went wrong
Trust barely drips through the sieve / And I still can't believe
it
Our love fades and drifts away / Stand by for the last refrain
The moving trucks are pulling up in our front yard
So this is the way that it feels / I wondered how this might feel
The sound of your voice fades away like an echo in some empty
cave
The 411 in my area code has got no listing for me
All my mail sits there in the post box, it seems I've lost the
key
Coffee, it comes to a boil / The percolator's making noises
No one left to blame / Stand by for the last refrain
I still hear the moving trucks back up in our front yard
Today is the day I forget all about it / It's over, don't worry
about it
Today I can open the window / Today is the day I can fly
Today I am starting the rest of my life / Today, I can touch the
sky
And I can leave that beeping sound of that truck behind
No moving trucks to hold me down
TAKING EVERYTHING
This fever on my mind / I'm burning down inside
My luck may never change / Or so it seems that way
I know in seven years / This curse will disappear
Where has my ladder gone? I feel like I've been robbed
In taking everything from me now
I'm making over what I hoped to be, I know
This is my only folder left with all these words
You've taken everything from me now
You take my license plates / You've taken everything
The place where I belong / You take all my songs
You've taken what I wanted / The few things that I kept
I turned around to help someone / And then you helped yourself
In taking everything from me now
I'm making over what I hoped to be, I know
This is my only folder left with all these words
You've taken everything from me now
So take away the skin / You scratch until you win
And in this lottery / What is the prize for me?
I'd give you anything / But I can't match this happiness
What's right or wrong / Where do I belong?
In taking everything from me now
I'm making over what I hoped to be, I know
This is my only folder left with all these words
You've taken everything from me now
Where has my ladder gone? You take all my songs
Where do I belong?
In taking everything from me
FIRST DRAG OF THE DAY
Don't make me do it, don't make me sell the things I love
There's too much happening in this world
Don't choose the other side right away
It's been left alone for a while
If I can get to the words before that first smoke
Everything seems to come out differently
Leaving a large hole in my hip
I've never tried to quit
Here I go with the first drag of the day
Sometimes it makes me fall backwards on back into bed
Don't stop me, don't correct me
Please don't interfere with me
I'm trying to write as fast as I can
Yesterday wasn't so bad
I thought it a little worse than it was
I don't know why I tried to sabotage my day
I wanted everything my own way
I wanted it all my own way, so don't apologize
I learn to devise these ways of explaining away
Happenstance, you don't let me take a stand
And it sits inside on the great white picket fence deep inside
Someday that fence is going to fall in your yard
And I hope you didn't plant anything too precious too close to
the boundary
It's starting to sound like it's time to sign off
But for once, I feel like something might have happened
Maybe I can't show this to you
Maybe I can't show you everything
Some things have to be precious and pure
Some things have to stay inside of me
Or else I've given everything away
I wanted it all this way
I learn to devise these ways of explaining away
So don't blame me, I won't blame you
It's just the first drag of the day
CLASSIFIEDS
Look through the classifieds, maybe I'll find a friend who cares
(Decent and true, but my interests are few)
How would I reply? Start with "I've never done this before"
And all the chains that bind, you might find they're just threads
that float around
It's fun to fantasize through someone else's eyes
Every week, I read the advertisements from start to end
(Stable, mature, but a little unsure)
What I am I looking for? #340's in here again
Like the characters portrayed in a play no one ever stops to read
I have to say that this all seems strange to me
It's not that different from my life
Condense it down into five lines
Now I know the reason why these ads all look alike
How can anyone describe who they are in a page or less?
(Desperately looking for someone, I guess)
But when the morning comes, both of you will be scratching your
heads
In the aftermath, head to the bathroom to straighten up and then
You realize you forgot your toothbrush again
And what you saw in those five lines:
Did it materialize?
Now you know the reason why that one's in there every time
Look through the classifieds
Who's in the classifieds?
I'm through with the classifieds
WHO WAS AROUND?
Who was around when the world was falling down?
Who turned away? Couldn't bother to be around this now
Who walked away when the game wasn't fun to play?
And my escape became my only game
Hand me over and hand me down
Get me out of your sight
No direction, my compass is broken
Where'd you leave me tonight?
I was a child, and now it seems so long ago
Why'd you abandon me? Maybe it's not for me to know
No explanation needed, nothing can change the way things went
You just weren't interested, I guess, I guess
Some days fine, others out of my mind
And the curse I curse is the worst it gets
I hold it inside as you sleep, as you hide from
The mess that you made of your life
(Who was around when you were hungry?
Who eased the pain of all your sadness?
Who played with you when you were lonely?
Who was around?)
What will your conscience say? Maybe you'll change the channel
soon
Or simply hide it in the chest of drawers inside your room
Like old linoleum, battered and worn beyond repair
Go burn the whole house down, like anyone cares
Maybe in time, these indelible lines will
Fade like the hopes and the fears you denied
These feelings are gone, they've been buried along
With the rest of the mess that you made in your chest of drawers
SKINTRADE
Floodlight, Arizona / The fire trucks rush in
Double wide double bed / Specks of ceiling paint fall off the
tin
And they're standing by / Brow begins to moisten as you take
Another hotshot to stiff you up / The room is spinning now
That's it, man / Inhibitions fall by the wayside
Happy man / You don't care what's happening
To you now, it's all one big blur of lights and action
Later on, you find out
You've been had, you've been tricked, you're exposed, you've got
it
Made in the skin trade with your heavy head and heart, you fall
apart
And the hole in your arm won't heal the pain you're feeling
Made in the skin trade, darling / Every stitch of you has been
revealed
And there's nothing left to conceal
Hemispheres so high and mighty / Velveteen and chalk delight
You've become the new obsession of everyone that you've caressed
But you can't tell who recognizes you / Can't tell who knows your
face
Can't tell anything, can't tell anyone what you've done, you've
got it
Made in the skin trade with your heavy head and heart, you fall
apart
And the hole in your arm won't heal the pain you're feeling
Made in the skin trade, darling / Every stitch of you has been
revealed
And there's nothing left to conceal
VAPORUB
Kept my heart locked away / Kept it far away from me
Found a place by the river where nobody goes
Buried far beneath the levee
Places where I used to go / When it rained, my heart went deeper
Deep blue underneath the sea / Washed away for no one to see
I don't have the feelings I'm supposed to know
I don't get the feeling that you understand
Only get the feeling that you're feeling sorry for me
That's never been the point of what i've said
Never really knew what love was / Mixed it up with other thoughts
Growing up alone doesn't help one sort it out
Even when you're here, you're not
Never learned to trust another person
Never knew a person who could understand my words
Why I chose to share them, I will never know, but knowing
No one took the time to understand
Do I want forgiveness, or the thrill of maybe knowing
I could change direction, never caring where I'm going
Sometimes all the time it takes to make your destination
Isn't charted out as clearly as it seems
Now the smell of vaporub comes over me
All the shame of weakness builds again
Rules and expectations I can't follow any more
I became the person that I am
Wouldn't want to make you think you haven't found a way to me
It's only that it's not as simple as it seems to be
SWEET SERENE
I needed the rain to wash away indifference
I needed the wind to air out the differences
I needed the sun to warm up my spirits
I need these elements to feel somewhat centered
I wanted some time without the impositions
I wanted a life beyond the Spanish Inquisition
I wanted so little, but it seems I need so much
Too much to ask for, but I want what I deserve
I need these elements to feel somewhat centered
When I walk, I don't care where I'm going
All I know is the movement does me good
Gravitation, pulleys, puppet strings
Paper, scissors, rock me back to sweet serene
I could have stayed inside for another year
I could have died if I hadn't disappeared
Too much to ask for, but I want what I deserve
I need these elements to feel somewhat centered
REFLECTING POOL
I stumble through this godforsaken
Uncertain of the path I'm taking
But along the way, I make a smile
I hope where I end up might be worthwhile
Holding in the breath of anger
Inside this old refrigerator
Those days are gone, there's more ahead
So concentrate on what's in store instead
A memory, a dream, or another crazy scheme
Then I find out what I want is something inbetween
Waking and repeating my routines
Walking circles, talk in circles to me
Words that tumble effortlessly from the lips of fools
Only cloud up what I see in my reflecting pool
Jumping headfirst into symmetry
I am splitting at the seams, hold me
In my reflecting pool / I look in my reflecting pool
This sole reflection is my own / The pool is still until the pebble's
thrown
ALONG THE WAY
Scratching at the surface / keep the conversation light
Lest I seem offensive / wouldn't want to be ostracized
I don't want approval for what I say
Only an honest reaction
All I get are looks of confusion
I guess I lost you somewhere along the way
I found out some time ago that people can live with their lies
Finding ways to bury bones in graves full of alibis
I don't give a damn what anyone thinks
Every time I try to reveal the truth
All I get are blank expressions
I guess I lost you somewhere along the way
Bullshitting me, bullshitting you
To the point where no one cares
With everything so far away from where it ought to be
I guess it's safer there
Who knows the difference any more
Is this how life is going to be from now on
I could never dance, so I guess I'll take my chances
I've got nothing to hide
Good things come to those who want it, but no one likes what remains
Like the drudge that washed up from the ocean and spoiled your
finest day
There, beneath the moon, you can only see the shadow
Of the sun from the other side
It seems the stars have blurred your vision
I guess I lost you somewhere along the way
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